Thursday, June 7, 2012

06/05 Growing up younger

         Where are we going, what are we looking for... Are questions I never asked myself. Not for avoiding to be too classic, maybe just because of being a stupid girl whose only motto is to seize the day.. But still, one day happens where everything goes back onto your face, and having skeletons in your closet doesn't helps so much. That's a time of your life when everything you do gives you back to a buried childhood, the time you see every days details through the filter of your ''mental guts'', the time a bad experience can feels good and a good one feels without interest.
             The time you're 25 and life already has the bittersweet taste of ''too much, no thank you, let me get out of this shit''.
             "If you feel like this clap your hands" I'd like to say, but once again the time you'll read this, my own feelings may had also changed. Worthless efforts, unconscious existence, refrozen human flesh.

           Yesterday we were all sitting close to each others, having once again the time of our lifes, laughing out lout like other incalculable days. Nearly with no conscience of my actions I picked one  fluffy powdered Japanese sweets. And laughing I took a bit of it. Letting my taste buds alone rediscovering its gastronomic mystery I realized I had powder all over my mouth, and as soon as I touched it I was physically no more there.
       Once again in Tunisia, sitting on my grand mother's bed, the blinding sun going through blue shutters, I'm swaying my 6 years old legs looking at my mother chatting with my aunties. Three of them, sitting in front of a wood dresser, powdering their faces, laughing, speaking loud, powdering again and again.

This is mushrooms. This is drugs and I'm just a hippie, no way this could be happening all over again.

          1 mois. Pourquoi n'ai je rien posté plus tôt? Bonne question. Pourtant ce n'est pas les choses à raconter qui ont manqué, je viens de finir un des mois les plus chargés de ma vie, de manière contradictoire ce sont les évènements profonds et non anecdotiques que je n'ai pas le temps de partager. Peut être un coup bas de la vie pour garder de la magie dans nos boites de pandore personelles.    

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